Before Mike Tyson gets wind of this post and tries to hunt me down and hurts me, I don't ACTUALLY think I can hit as hard as he can. Pretty close....but I need a little more practice. :)
As you have probably already guessed we boxed today at BC! I LOVE boxing but it is the hardest workout. No wonder those professional boxers look so fit! We only did it for 45 minutes and I lost half my body weight in sweat!
Molly and I partnered up and we had to do a sequence where Molly jumped rope while I had to box. I had to finish 100 jabs, 50 uppercuts, 15 push ups, 15 jump squats, and 200 fast punches (might have screwed up the order of those, but you get the picture!) before Molly could stop jumping rope....bless her heart. When I finally finished, she walked over to me and said, "You might want to hit the restroom before jumping"....ah, she knows me too well (if you are new, please refer to my Bladders, Boot camp, and Babies post to grasp the severity of what happens while doing any sort of jumping at BC).
Side note to all my fellow BC GIRL members: avoid the restroom right next to the lockers. I learned the hard way that it is definitely the MALE bathroom- no toilet paper and the sink doesn't work....lliterally every man's dream and every woman's nightmare.
It wouldn't really be a complete day at BC if I don't have some sort of spaz issue or klutzy fall, so here it goes: I probably look like a dog (no opposable thumbs) when I put on, and take off, my boxing gloves. Josh had to keep telling me like 3 minutes in advance of when it was my turn to box so I could get my gloves on in time. And because I apparently have no ability to get them off by myself, I did all my ab work while still wearing them. How awesome did I look Side Planking and doing Sprinter Sit Ups with big red boxing gloves on? Well, I was called "Captain Kangaroo" and "Impossible" several times - so that should answer THAT question.
Contemplating the 5:30am class tomorrow.....I obviously must have hit my head during today's workout!
High Point: Got to watch Molly box and now have a visual goal of what I want my arms to look like - she's so buff!
Low Point: Took almost 10 minutes to wash my hair today because my arms are so freaking tired! Sorry to everyone that stands next to me tomorrow- I don't really know if my whole head got washed.....
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Cow Roping and Paper Plate Violence......
BC on Monday was quite the sight. We did all TRX training (rope things that hang from the ceiling so we can do suspension stuff) and some running. One of my fellow BC gals put it perfectly - nothing like getting roped up like a baby cow to make you feel awesome! Urgh....
It's never a good sign when Terri is showing us some of the moves we are doing and says, "It's Josh's goal to get here in time to see Katie do the Burpee on these [the TRX rope things]". First of all - it is terrifying, and somewhat concerning, how horrendous I am on those TRX ropes. Secondly, it's even worse that others have recognized the absolute absurdity of how I look while trying to contort my body into the exercise moves we are supposed to be doing.....sigh.....
The burpee on the TRX rope goes like this: place one foot in the strap and then drop into a push up - with your leg still suspended in the air behind you- and then hop back up into a standing position and jump. May I remind you that this is ALL ON ONE FOOT!!!! WHAT THE HELL?!?!?! Pretty sure I should have paid closer attention to the "find your balance" emphasis in the one yoga class I took.
We also did a move where we have BOTH feet in the straps - suspended behind us- and have to do a push up and then pull our knees to our chest and then back out...then repeat. OH MY LORD, where do I even start with this one? Let's see, maybe I should start with the fact that the minute I got my feet in the straps and out in the push up position, my legs completely rotated 180 degrees? So I went to my knees and got back in the push up position and it happened again! I did a complete circle - which I think should count for at least once or two plank exercises but, APPARENTLY, Josh and Terri do not encourage making up our own exercise moves on the TRX things.....whatever.
The next day we did Black Jack - 21 reps of 3,000 exercises. It might as well have been 3,000- that's how my butt and arms feel today. I still am questioning the whole thing because can't you "pass" on certain cards in the game of Blackjack? I did NOT get to "pass" or choose anything yesterday - what a rip off! After we finished, we played a game where we divided into two teams. There was a line of paper plates down the center of the room and one team was on one side and the other team was on the opposite side. When Josh called out our numbers (each of us were assigned numbers) one member on each team raced to get a paper plate. Whoever got it first runs back to their side and the other team can chase them down and tag them. Last time I played this game, I bit it.....hard. I might have gotten a little overzealous in my "snatch the plate" attempt! So this time, I made sure to try to keep my balance. I have to say, this game can get violent. The morning class had a gal get stabbed by another gal's ring, I twisted my ankle when I tried to avoid the pillar (which is not small, I am just a spaz) in the middle of the room, and a guy in our class almost knocked himself out because he almost ran into the wall! IT WAS SO FUN! I was exhausted and sore, but I had a blast! Oh, and my team won- woop, woop!!!!
Ok, I am off to BC - wish me luck!
High point- Josh and Terri did my measurements and I lost body fat percentage, inches, and weight. FINE, I'll say it - this whole hard exercise stuff works!
Low point: Confessing that I took ballet, tap, and jazz for 19 years the other day when I couldn't figure out what leg to bend! Pretty sure I have just further baffled Josh and Terri in their quest to understand how klutzy/uncoordinated I am!
It's never a good sign when Terri is showing us some of the moves we are doing and says, "It's Josh's goal to get here in time to see Katie do the Burpee on these [the TRX rope things]". First of all - it is terrifying, and somewhat concerning, how horrendous I am on those TRX ropes. Secondly, it's even worse that others have recognized the absolute absurdity of how I look while trying to contort my body into the exercise moves we are supposed to be doing.....sigh.....
The burpee on the TRX rope goes like this: place one foot in the strap and then drop into a push up - with your leg still suspended in the air behind you- and then hop back up into a standing position and jump. May I remind you that this is ALL ON ONE FOOT!!!! WHAT THE HELL?!?!?! Pretty sure I should have paid closer attention to the "find your balance" emphasis in the one yoga class I took.
We also did a move where we have BOTH feet in the straps - suspended behind us- and have to do a push up and then pull our knees to our chest and then back out...then repeat. OH MY LORD, where do I even start with this one? Let's see, maybe I should start with the fact that the minute I got my feet in the straps and out in the push up position, my legs completely rotated 180 degrees? So I went to my knees and got back in the push up position and it happened again! I did a complete circle - which I think should count for at least once or two plank exercises but, APPARENTLY, Josh and Terri do not encourage making up our own exercise moves on the TRX things.....whatever.
The next day we did Black Jack - 21 reps of 3,000 exercises. It might as well have been 3,000- that's how my butt and arms feel today. I still am questioning the whole thing because can't you "pass" on certain cards in the game of Blackjack? I did NOT get to "pass" or choose anything yesterday - what a rip off! After we finished, we played a game where we divided into two teams. There was a line of paper plates down the center of the room and one team was on one side and the other team was on the opposite side. When Josh called out our numbers (each of us were assigned numbers) one member on each team raced to get a paper plate. Whoever got it first runs back to their side and the other team can chase them down and tag them. Last time I played this game, I bit it.....hard. I might have gotten a little overzealous in my "snatch the plate" attempt! So this time, I made sure to try to keep my balance. I have to say, this game can get violent. The morning class had a gal get stabbed by another gal's ring, I twisted my ankle when I tried to avoid the pillar (which is not small, I am just a spaz) in the middle of the room, and a guy in our class almost knocked himself out because he almost ran into the wall! IT WAS SO FUN! I was exhausted and sore, but I had a blast! Oh, and my team won- woop, woop!!!!
Ok, I am off to BC - wish me luck!
High point- Josh and Terri did my measurements and I lost body fat percentage, inches, and weight. FINE, I'll say it - this whole hard exercise stuff works!
Low point: Confessing that I took ballet, tap, and jazz for 19 years the other day when I couldn't figure out what leg to bend! Pretty sure I have just further baffled Josh and Terri in their quest to understand how klutzy/uncoordinated I am!
Friday, February 15, 2013
Terri Has Made the List......
Oh sweet Terri. She has always been the gentle, sweet instructor at OK Fit (BC). She's tough in that she doesn't let us quit and has GREAT workouts, but she always has a little encouraging word or high five for us. HOW-EV-A ( and I say that in my best Queen Latifah voice), she's now on my list. She put our abs through some kind of hell today.
We did Deck of Cards with just ab exercises (and some push ups) and there were no Mason Twists. So I thought, "This will hurt but won't kill me". Wrong....dead, freaking wrong. We did some flutter kicks (not horrendous but still hard), push ups, mountain jumpers (yes, they are vomit-inducers, that's all you need to know), and sprinter sit ups. I am going to focus on the last one because it seems that those were the only words Terri knew how to say for approximately 10 minutes. :)
The sprinter sit up is when you lay on your back with your hands behind your head and then sit up while picking up one of your legs and trying to touch your opposite elbow with it. Now, we did these yesterday at BC and I loved them - seriously! But we only had to do 10 at a time. We were doing a Progression Workout (which was awesome) so we only had to do 10 of everything and then run. Therefore, I could always see a light at the end of the tunnel. With the Deck of Cards, its never ending- Terri could flip over a 5 and then flip over a 10 so now we have 15 reps to do. Side Note: I am never playing poker with her - she HAS to be a cheater. It's not possible that there were THAT many cards synonymous with the Sprinter Sit ups in that deck. Or maybe it was the blurred vision, roaring pain in my abdominal area, and the bile in my throat that was impairing my judgement of how many we were actually doing. Is it possible to have swollen ab muscles? Because I am pretty sure mine were throbbing and swollen after that.
Maybe I could have gotten past the tragedy that we call the Deck of Cards workout...but Terri added two exercises in the rotation we were doing that I can't forgive. Mason Twists (you know my feelings about those) and Man Makers. Oh, I forgot to mention that the mason twists were weighted....did I not make it abundantly clear that I hate REGULAR mason twists? There is an obvious conspiracy happening here...
On to Man Makers - hold on, I have to take a break from typing because my shoulders are so sore from these. Okay - I have them propped up on some boxes so I can finish :) Man Makers are when you hold two dumbbells and go from a standing position down into a push up position, and do a row on each arm then do a push up THEN stand up and do a squat. That's ONE man maker....I'm getting sweaty just typing about it.
After the combination of what Terri put us through, she has now made my bad list and I shall have to start resorting to calling her names in my head like I do to Josh. It's a shame because she is so sweet but I can not discriminate when it comes to forced mason twists and man makers :) They both shall come off the list (maybe) when I am wearing a bikini this summer without a sarong tied up to my collar bone to hide everything. :)
High Point: I just did three days of BC in a row without passing out, pulling a muscle, or hiding in the bathroom until class was over! BONUS: Molly, Monica, Amy, Susan, and I decided we could do a lap around the block after BC was over!
Low point: Realizing that my new running shoes don't make me look like the Brazilian model that was wearing them in the catalogue....stupid advertising, I fall for it every time!!!
We did Deck of Cards with just ab exercises (and some push ups) and there were no Mason Twists. So I thought, "This will hurt but won't kill me". Wrong....dead, freaking wrong. We did some flutter kicks (not horrendous but still hard), push ups, mountain jumpers (yes, they are vomit-inducers, that's all you need to know), and sprinter sit ups. I am going to focus on the last one because it seems that those were the only words Terri knew how to say for approximately 10 minutes. :)
The sprinter sit up is when you lay on your back with your hands behind your head and then sit up while picking up one of your legs and trying to touch your opposite elbow with it. Now, we did these yesterday at BC and I loved them - seriously! But we only had to do 10 at a time. We were doing a Progression Workout (which was awesome) so we only had to do 10 of everything and then run. Therefore, I could always see a light at the end of the tunnel. With the Deck of Cards, its never ending- Terri could flip over a 5 and then flip over a 10 so now we have 15 reps to do. Side Note: I am never playing poker with her - she HAS to be a cheater. It's not possible that there were THAT many cards synonymous with the Sprinter Sit ups in that deck. Or maybe it was the blurred vision, roaring pain in my abdominal area, and the bile in my throat that was impairing my judgement of how many we were actually doing. Is it possible to have swollen ab muscles? Because I am pretty sure mine were throbbing and swollen after that.
Maybe I could have gotten past the tragedy that we call the Deck of Cards workout...but Terri added two exercises in the rotation we were doing that I can't forgive. Mason Twists (you know my feelings about those) and Man Makers. Oh, I forgot to mention that the mason twists were weighted....did I not make it abundantly clear that I hate REGULAR mason twists? There is an obvious conspiracy happening here...
On to Man Makers - hold on, I have to take a break from typing because my shoulders are so sore from these. Okay - I have them propped up on some boxes so I can finish :) Man Makers are when you hold two dumbbells and go from a standing position down into a push up position, and do a row on each arm then do a push up THEN stand up and do a squat. That's ONE man maker....I'm getting sweaty just typing about it.
After the combination of what Terri put us through, she has now made my bad list and I shall have to start resorting to calling her names in my head like I do to Josh. It's a shame because she is so sweet but I can not discriminate when it comes to forced mason twists and man makers :) They both shall come off the list (maybe) when I am wearing a bikini this summer without a sarong tied up to my collar bone to hide everything. :)
High Point: I just did three days of BC in a row without passing out, pulling a muscle, or hiding in the bathroom until class was over! BONUS: Molly, Monica, Amy, Susan, and I decided we could do a lap around the block after BC was over!
Low point: Realizing that my new running shoes don't make me look like the Brazilian model that was wearing them in the catalogue....stupid advertising, I fall for it every time!!!
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Hammies Schmammies.......
Felt like complete doo yesterday when I went into BC because the night before was Fat Tuesday. I have not had fast food in a month and thought, "I should, obviously, ruin everything I have done the last month and stuff my face with chemicals and grease". So, after Cam's basketball game - she played AWESOME by the way, I told Chris to pull into Bueno to get me a Mexi Dips and Chips (because who doesn't love a meal comprised of bowls made out of chips and ladel cheese!?!?!). Fast forward to Wednesday at BC....yikes. And, of course, Josh was all "let's work hard" and "don't quit".....and all that was running through my head was, "I wanna be whiny and throw a pity party because I ate like poo and now I feel like it". Apparently, pity parties are not encouraged nor are they acknowledged at BC....but I sure threw a major one in my head!
Speaking of heads, BC was on Ash Wednesday and Molly and I still had our ashes from Mass on our foreheads when we walked into BC. It inspired us to hope that the stench that was coming from both of us during exercise was all the sin seeping out of our bodies. :)
We did 30 sets of an exercise and then lunged across the room to do another 30 set of something else....and then lunge back to the other side, and continued that for like 4 or 5 hours. Okay, it was 40 minutes but it seemed like maybe I fell into the Bermuda Triangle of time. Everything started blurring together - especially when he had us partner up and one person, while in a plank, held their partner's feet so they could do sit ups. And it's so funny (not in a ha-ha, hilarious way but in an interesting, want-to-cry sort of way) when Josh says we only have to do it for one minute. One minute? Sounds super easy, right? OMG- I can't even tell you what goes through my mind during that minute. Well, yes I can- I do the alphabet in my head and EVERY TIME I get to "z" I think, "Ok that was probably 30 seconds".....um, nope- not even close. It never fails that right when I am thinking I am at least halfway through, Josh or Terri update us with, "Nice, guys! 45 seconds left!".....CRAP! The first 15 seconds were torture, pure hell, horrendously painful and I still have 45 seconds left?!?!?! HATING LIFE!!!! Yep- that about sums up what that one minute is like! :)
Another super-easy exercise Josh had us do involved our hamstrings and paper plates. You lay on your back, and put your feet on the paper plates. Then raise your butt and slide your legs all the way out and bring your heels back towards your butt then slide them out again. Ya, I know - even reading about it hurts. Who really needs hamstrings anyway? Because I'm pretty sure I busted mine during that exercise! Plus, I put on a show of how uncoordinated I am because I kept losing the plate and then would only be able to slide one leg and then fall. I'm so smooth. Molly and I were lying next to each other while we were doing these and she and I decided if we could get through 10 reps, it would be a miracle.
We had to run a lap at the end, because we can't seem to end the session until I want to puke or die or both. We had 2:30 to run 400M and I ran it in 1:56. Pretty sure I used to run that in like 1:15 in high school (during basketball practice) - which isn't fast or anything- but a lot faster than 1:56! I'm sure it's the baby weight I am still carrying is hindering my speed. OH WAIT - my youngest kid is 6. How long can I use her as an excuse for the size of my butt? Dang it - I need to borrow someone's baby STAT...then I can at least lie and use the baby weight excuse :)
High point: We DID finish the hamstring torture and somehow kept our hammies from popping like rubber bands.
Low Point: Lent started yesterday and I am giving up meat the entire 40 days and 40 nights. Pray for me....and for everyone around me that they don't become the victims of my anemic rage.
Oh and see below for my mad planking skills (I say that with laughter!) on Chris' police car. OK Fit has Wednesday challenges to see what kind of weird places we can do an exercise......so fun!
Speaking of heads, BC was on Ash Wednesday and Molly and I still had our ashes from Mass on our foreheads when we walked into BC. It inspired us to hope that the stench that was coming from both of us during exercise was all the sin seeping out of our bodies. :)
We did 30 sets of an exercise and then lunged across the room to do another 30 set of something else....and then lunge back to the other side, and continued that for like 4 or 5 hours. Okay, it was 40 minutes but it seemed like maybe I fell into the Bermuda Triangle of time. Everything started blurring together - especially when he had us partner up and one person, while in a plank, held their partner's feet so they could do sit ups. And it's so funny (not in a ha-ha, hilarious way but in an interesting, want-to-cry sort of way) when Josh says we only have to do it for one minute. One minute? Sounds super easy, right? OMG- I can't even tell you what goes through my mind during that minute. Well, yes I can- I do the alphabet in my head and EVERY TIME I get to "z" I think, "Ok that was probably 30 seconds".....um, nope- not even close. It never fails that right when I am thinking I am at least halfway through, Josh or Terri update us with, "Nice, guys! 45 seconds left!".....CRAP! The first 15 seconds were torture, pure hell, horrendously painful and I still have 45 seconds left?!?!?! HATING LIFE!!!! Yep- that about sums up what that one minute is like! :)
Another super-easy exercise Josh had us do involved our hamstrings and paper plates. You lay on your back, and put your feet on the paper plates. Then raise your butt and slide your legs all the way out and bring your heels back towards your butt then slide them out again. Ya, I know - even reading about it hurts. Who really needs hamstrings anyway? Because I'm pretty sure I busted mine during that exercise! Plus, I put on a show of how uncoordinated I am because I kept losing the plate and then would only be able to slide one leg and then fall. I'm so smooth. Molly and I were lying next to each other while we were doing these and she and I decided if we could get through 10 reps, it would be a miracle.
We had to run a lap at the end, because we can't seem to end the session until I want to puke or die or both. We had 2:30 to run 400M and I ran it in 1:56. Pretty sure I used to run that in like 1:15 in high school (during basketball practice) - which isn't fast or anything- but a lot faster than 1:56! I'm sure it's the baby weight I am still carrying is hindering my speed. OH WAIT - my youngest kid is 6. How long can I use her as an excuse for the size of my butt? Dang it - I need to borrow someone's baby STAT...then I can at least lie and use the baby weight excuse :)
High point: We DID finish the hamstring torture and somehow kept our hammies from popping like rubber bands.
Low Point: Lent started yesterday and I am giving up meat the entire 40 days and 40 nights. Pray for me....and for everyone around me that they don't become the victims of my anemic rage.
Oh and see below for my mad planking skills (I say that with laughter!) on Chris' police car. OK Fit has Wednesday challenges to see what kind of weird places we can do an exercise......so fun!
Monday, February 11, 2013
A Little Vomit Never Hurt Anyone.....
I walked in to BC today feeling pretty freaking awesome. Yesterday, I did a treadmill workout that should have stopped my heart about midway through but, somehow, I made it the entire 30 minutes! Woop, woop!!!! Still feeling the high I felt from finishing that yesterday, I walked in today ready for whatever Josh and Terri threw at me.
Why, why, WHY would I allow myself to feel like that? Because I am pretty sure BC took me out back, took my money, my purse, kicked my ass, and then spit on me while leaving me crying and curled up in the fetal position. I seriously had major flashbacks to high school and college basketball practice.
We did each exercise for 50 seconds (shoulder press, lunges, scissors, etc) and then had 10 seconds to move to the next one. Then we did the new exercise for 50 seconds and continued to do that sequence until we got to six minutes. Josh-zilla decided that doing six minutes of all those lovely exercises just wasn't painful enough. Here is where my PTSD from high school and college started kicking in....sprints. Lots of sprints. We had to sprint 100M and then jog 100M continuously for six minutes. The next one was sprint 200M, walk 100M, jog 100M continuously for six minutes. Adding these in to the mix really did wonders on the ole digestive tract....everything I had eaten that morning was all in my throat after I did my first burpee (another exercise invented by a man- I'm sure of it).
The best part of the day is when we were walking out to do our 200M sprints. Molly came out of the bathroom looking a bit haggard - because I resemble Giselle when I work out :) - and I asked her if she was okay. She just smiled and said, "I might have just thrown up a little bit" Me: "You did?!?" Molly: "Yep - I'm good to go- are we doing 200M sprints?". Wowza - she is such a beast! Seriously, I was going to tell her to just follow my lead during the 200M medley but then realized she kicks my ass every time we run, so that wasn't going to work. She and Lisa (another lovely gal suckered into the torture we call BC) took off at cheetah-pace, while Monica and I decided we would like to keep control of our bowels so we stayed at a small dog pace. I think that is a good comparison because, just like a tiny dog, our legs were moving but we weren't getting anywhere fast!
High point of the day: Didn't tell Josh that I hate him today! I did call him a "dirty bastard" at one point but I think that is more of an endearing nickname than one made out of hate, don't you think?
Low point of the day: Realizing my 30 day fitness assessment/test is coming up. I have never tested well so I think I might need to score some Adorol or something to keep my head in the game :) KIDDING - I don't need any FBI/cops/DEA knocking on my door tomorrow asking if I am trying to buy illegal drugs off of minors. If that DOES happen, I am throwing Josh under the bus---maybe he'll realize the mistake he made of assigning so many mason twists last class.....[insert evil laugh here].........
Why, why, WHY would I allow myself to feel like that? Because I am pretty sure BC took me out back, took my money, my purse, kicked my ass, and then spit on me while leaving me crying and curled up in the fetal position. I seriously had major flashbacks to high school and college basketball practice.
We did each exercise for 50 seconds (shoulder press, lunges, scissors, etc) and then had 10 seconds to move to the next one. Then we did the new exercise for 50 seconds and continued to do that sequence until we got to six minutes. Josh-zilla decided that doing six minutes of all those lovely exercises just wasn't painful enough. Here is where my PTSD from high school and college started kicking in....sprints. Lots of sprints. We had to sprint 100M and then jog 100M continuously for six minutes. The next one was sprint 200M, walk 100M, jog 100M continuously for six minutes. Adding these in to the mix really did wonders on the ole digestive tract....everything I had eaten that morning was all in my throat after I did my first burpee (another exercise invented by a man- I'm sure of it).
The best part of the day is when we were walking out to do our 200M sprints. Molly came out of the bathroom looking a bit haggard - because I resemble Giselle when I work out :) - and I asked her if she was okay. She just smiled and said, "I might have just thrown up a little bit" Me: "You did?!?" Molly: "Yep - I'm good to go- are we doing 200M sprints?". Wowza - she is such a beast! Seriously, I was going to tell her to just follow my lead during the 200M medley but then realized she kicks my ass every time we run, so that wasn't going to work. She and Lisa (another lovely gal suckered into the torture we call BC) took off at cheetah-pace, while Monica and I decided we would like to keep control of our bowels so we stayed at a small dog pace. I think that is a good comparison because, just like a tiny dog, our legs were moving but we weren't getting anywhere fast!
High point of the day: Didn't tell Josh that I hate him today! I did call him a "dirty bastard" at one point but I think that is more of an endearing nickname than one made out of hate, don't you think?
Low point of the day: Realizing my 30 day fitness assessment/test is coming up. I have never tested well so I think I might need to score some Adorol or something to keep my head in the game :) KIDDING - I don't need any FBI/cops/DEA knocking on my door tomorrow asking if I am trying to buy illegal drugs off of minors. If that DOES happen, I am throwing Josh under the bus---maybe he'll realize the mistake he made of assigning so many mason twists last class.....[insert evil laugh here].........
Friday, February 8, 2013
Jello Jigglers and Cartoon Legs......
First problem at BC today- I walked in and it was just me, Molly, and Monica. That is NOT good - where am I supposed to hide when I'm putting a knee down while planking, or when I throw up part of my liver while doing mountain climbers?!?! That was an executive decision made by Molly, Monica, and I immediately after class: if we drive up and we are the only cars...time to pop a u-turn and drive like a bat outta hell.
Can you tell it was a rough day at BC? Pretty sure being able to focus on three gals and see every mistake, weakness, and cheating-attempt made Josh super happy today. While he was screaming, "Don't quit! Don't you dare quit!!!" during our 685th mason twist (I am POSSIBLY exaggerating that number, but that's what it felt like!), two things crossed my mind that I wanted to say. 1) I hate you and every word that comes out of your mouth and I want to punch you, and 2) Is it possible that a human can start a fire inside their body by doing an ab exercise? The twisting motion of that stupid ab exercise literally feels like I am take two sticks and rubbing them together within my midsection. You know what I am talking about - like the hard-core woodsy people do to start a fire. Does anyone do that anymore? I am most likely displaying how ignorant I truly am about anything to do with camping....and mason twists. :)
The goal today (besides hiding in the bathroom until it was all over) was to do 20 seconds of each exercise with 10 second rest, then move on to the next exercise for 20 seconds...so on and so on. Oh, and he decided to throw a lap around the block between our sets, as well. Molly and I laugh (cry, sob, etc) because you KNOW it's bad when running feels like a freaking vacation compared to what you were just doing.
When we were sent out on our first "lap" (I put that in quotes because it sounds so friendly and easy when, in fact, its misery after doing 1300 monkey dips and squat thrusts), we took a couple strides and immediately started bitching. I do not communicate well while exercising....as in, I do my best to communicate through grunting and hand gestures. Molly and Monica, however, seem to be able to talk with perfect clarity while running....so, therefore, I slightly hate them. They are my friends, but I do not discriminate in my hatred for people who can do that. :) When we rounded a corner, Monica said - in a perfectly clear voice- "I am literally made of jello, I think. Just a bunch of jello". Which I totally agreed- "Grunt, grunt, snort [insert head nod and hand gesture]". My legs reminded me of those Jello Jiggler things that our moms made us when were were little. What happened to those things anyway? I have never made those for my kids---so either no one makes them anymore or I obviously do not take the effort to make cute things for my kids.
When we were done with our last friendly lap, Monica and I SWORE we were probably done. How silly of us to think we could leave when we were still breathing and looking like semi-normal humans! Josh had the TRX (suspension training) rope things hanging from the ceiling for us to do some more ab work. To show us what we would be doing, he put his feet in these strap things and turned on his stomach and then started doing all sorts of suspended ab exercises. I could not stop laughing...was it out of pure fear? Or just a sense of peace that went through me that said "you'll be passed out within 2 minutes anyway, so don't sweat it"......apparently, it was the first reason. Because, holy schnikees, that was impossibly hard. Molly told Josh, "I've always wanted to try suspension training...." and when he walked away she looked at me and finished with, "......said no one ever". Oh how I love her.
When we were doing mountain climbers on the TRX things, I KNOW I looked like the Road Runner from Looney Toons. Remember him? Because I just kept swinging my legs and I kept swinging backwards and my feet were doing that cartoon "fast leg" thing! You know, where they just move in one place and look ridiculous. Ya, that was me .....so sexy.
High of the day: Extra ab work from all the laughing we did when we were completely failing at suspension training.
Low of the day: Definitely need to send a note to the high school right by OK Fit (BC) - their students were out driving while we were running and I think I almost got run over twice. Eh - it might have gotten me out of that suspension training! Memo to me.....next time, "fall" in front of a driving car while running.....
Picture of TRX rope thingys:
Can you tell it was a rough day at BC? Pretty sure being able to focus on three gals and see every mistake, weakness, and cheating-attempt made Josh super happy today. While he was screaming, "Don't quit! Don't you dare quit!!!" during our 685th mason twist (I am POSSIBLY exaggerating that number, but that's what it felt like!), two things crossed my mind that I wanted to say. 1) I hate you and every word that comes out of your mouth and I want to punch you, and 2) Is it possible that a human can start a fire inside their body by doing an ab exercise? The twisting motion of that stupid ab exercise literally feels like I am take two sticks and rubbing them together within my midsection. You know what I am talking about - like the hard-core woodsy people do to start a fire. Does anyone do that anymore? I am most likely displaying how ignorant I truly am about anything to do with camping....and mason twists. :)
The goal today (besides hiding in the bathroom until it was all over) was to do 20 seconds of each exercise with 10 second rest, then move on to the next exercise for 20 seconds...so on and so on. Oh, and he decided to throw a lap around the block between our sets, as well. Molly and I laugh (cry, sob, etc) because you KNOW it's bad when running feels like a freaking vacation compared to what you were just doing.
When we were sent out on our first "lap" (I put that in quotes because it sounds so friendly and easy when, in fact, its misery after doing 1300 monkey dips and squat thrusts), we took a couple strides and immediately started bitching. I do not communicate well while exercising....as in, I do my best to communicate through grunting and hand gestures. Molly and Monica, however, seem to be able to talk with perfect clarity while running....so, therefore, I slightly hate them. They are my friends, but I do not discriminate in my hatred for people who can do that. :) When we rounded a corner, Monica said - in a perfectly clear voice- "I am literally made of jello, I think. Just a bunch of jello". Which I totally agreed- "Grunt, grunt, snort [insert head nod and hand gesture]". My legs reminded me of those Jello Jiggler things that our moms made us when were were little. What happened to those things anyway? I have never made those for my kids---so either no one makes them anymore or I obviously do not take the effort to make cute things for my kids.
When we were done with our last friendly lap, Monica and I SWORE we were probably done. How silly of us to think we could leave when we were still breathing and looking like semi-normal humans! Josh had the TRX (suspension training) rope things hanging from the ceiling for us to do some more ab work. To show us what we would be doing, he put his feet in these strap things and turned on his stomach and then started doing all sorts of suspended ab exercises. I could not stop laughing...was it out of pure fear? Or just a sense of peace that went through me that said "you'll be passed out within 2 minutes anyway, so don't sweat it"......apparently, it was the first reason. Because, holy schnikees, that was impossibly hard. Molly told Josh, "I've always wanted to try suspension training...." and when he walked away she looked at me and finished with, "......said no one ever". Oh how I love her.
When we were doing mountain climbers on the TRX things, I KNOW I looked like the Road Runner from Looney Toons. Remember him? Because I just kept swinging my legs and I kept swinging backwards and my feet were doing that cartoon "fast leg" thing! You know, where they just move in one place and look ridiculous. Ya, that was me .....so sexy.
High of the day: Extra ab work from all the laughing we did when we were completely failing at suspension training.
Low of the day: Definitely need to send a note to the high school right by OK Fit (BC) - their students were out driving while we were running and I think I almost got run over twice. Eh - it might have gotten me out of that suspension training! Memo to me.....next time, "fall" in front of a driving car while running.....
Picture of TRX rope thingys:
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Flipping Tires with Friends......
Another day of crippling-induced exercise for this gal. Also, one more sucker...uh, I mean recruit....has joined me and Molly at Oklahoma Fit. Yay for our friend Monica joining BC with us!!! It is so much more entertaining to have companions in my misery.
Today was Dice Roll and Deck of Cards.....my board game nights are forever ruined because of Josh and Terri (owners/trainers of OK Fit). Molly, Monica, and I decided to team up and roll the dice together so we could do all our exercises together....basically, we wanted to be able to bitch about what we were doing without judgement.
There is a list of super-easy exercises (insert sarcasm here) listed on the white board and whatever we roll, we do the exercise associated with that number. We keep rolling the dice until we have worked out for 40 minutes.
Most of the list was all moves I have done or seen before. HOWEVER, one little exercise stood out to me on there....Tire Flips. These ain't no Geo Metro tires....these are Monster Truck, red-neck tires. We have all watched the Strong Man competition where the insanely large men flip tires over and they scream and grunt and act like their testosterone levels are at an all-time high. Wellllll, imagine three moms, in their little black capri running tights, out in a parking lot flipping these massive tires.....hilarious. I am pretty sure every ounce of testosterone that lurks in my body was screaming to be used. Strong Men, I totally get it - I definitely grunted, screamed, spat, and, most importantly, yelled every curse word that made me sound manly. Sadly, we did have an injury to girlie parts (the injured player shall remain nameless) at one point. We were dying laughing and she screamed, "I literally don't have enough breath to cry". Apparently, if the tread on those tires hits you in the right spot, your ability to have children dramatically decreases. :) Ahhhhhh, BC, you never disappoint.
At the end of this lovely 40 minute sequence, Josh tells us to "find a mat", which never ends well for me. Deck of Cards ab workout, obviously. I only tortured my body for 40 minutes, why not add another 10 of gut-wrenching (literally) ab exercises? We went through an entire deck of cards and each card represented the number of reps of an ab exercise- Toe Touches, Mason Twists, Heel Touches, and Flutter Kicks. I mean, I MIGHT have said, "I hate you" to Josh several times throughout the routine....but, for some reason, this just makes him smile and enjoy yelling out instructions even more. Pretty sure if I heard "Mason Twist" one more time, I was going to have to make him smell my armpit or something equally terrifying. Damn trainers and their dedication to making us healthy......
High point: When I started BC, I could only do 1 "getup" (exercise where you lay on your back, hands behind head, and then sit up, cross your legs and stand up without assistance) without using my hands. Today, I did three sets of 10 without using my hands!! Woop, woop!!!
Today was Dice Roll and Deck of Cards.....my board game nights are forever ruined because of Josh and Terri (owners/trainers of OK Fit). Molly, Monica, and I decided to team up and roll the dice together so we could do all our exercises together....basically, we wanted to be able to bitch about what we were doing without judgement.
There is a list of super-easy exercises (insert sarcasm here) listed on the white board and whatever we roll, we do the exercise associated with that number. We keep rolling the dice until we have worked out for 40 minutes.
Most of the list was all moves I have done or seen before. HOWEVER, one little exercise stood out to me on there....Tire Flips. These ain't no Geo Metro tires....these are Monster Truck, red-neck tires. We have all watched the Strong Man competition where the insanely large men flip tires over and they scream and grunt and act like their testosterone levels are at an all-time high. Wellllll, imagine three moms, in their little black capri running tights, out in a parking lot flipping these massive tires.....hilarious. I am pretty sure every ounce of testosterone that lurks in my body was screaming to be used. Strong Men, I totally get it - I definitely grunted, screamed, spat, and, most importantly, yelled every curse word that made me sound manly. Sadly, we did have an injury to girlie parts (the injured player shall remain nameless) at one point. We were dying laughing and she screamed, "I literally don't have enough breath to cry". Apparently, if the tread on those tires hits you in the right spot, your ability to have children dramatically decreases. :) Ahhhhhh, BC, you never disappoint.
At the end of this lovely 40 minute sequence, Josh tells us to "find a mat", which never ends well for me. Deck of Cards ab workout, obviously. I only tortured my body for 40 minutes, why not add another 10 of gut-wrenching (literally) ab exercises? We went through an entire deck of cards and each card represented the number of reps of an ab exercise- Toe Touches, Mason Twists, Heel Touches, and Flutter Kicks. I mean, I MIGHT have said, "I hate you" to Josh several times throughout the routine....but, for some reason, this just makes him smile and enjoy yelling out instructions even more. Pretty sure if I heard "Mason Twist" one more time, I was going to have to make him smell my armpit or something equally terrifying. Damn trainers and their dedication to making us healthy......
High point: When I started BC, I could only do 1 "getup" (exercise where you lay on your back, hands behind head, and then sit up, cross your legs and stand up without assistance) without using my hands. Today, I did three sets of 10 without using my hands!! Woop, woop!!!
Low Point: My shoes are like three years old and I love them so much because they are so supportive but they look like they have been sitting at the bottom of a river for several months....and kind of smell like it too. It may be time for a new pair of shoes......
Monday, February 4, 2013
Retching & Running......
I have officially recruited my friend, Molly, to join me at BC for at least one month - yay! We show up at our normal time today and were slightly nervous because we spent Saturday night drinking vodka and eating sweet potato fries. Sooooo, we knew that would come back to bite us in the ass - and it did.
Josh, our trainer...aka Dictator....aka Drill Sergeant...had us start out with a 3 minute run followed by shoulder presses, jump squats, bicycles, and push ups. His wife, Terri, who is also a trainer/owner worked out with us. Is it really fair to have to stare at her while we work out? I think not - I'm going to start asking her to wear clothes that are 6 sizes too big to make her look uglier....sadly, I am not sure that would even matter! I guess I'll just have to use her child-sized ass as motivation.....sigh....
Anyway, there were PLENTY more exercises after that but I would like to focus on a huge barrier we had to overcome today - the most horrendous stench I have ever experienced. And I have smelled a lot of bad things. In my previous life, I worked in a restaurant, a hospital, and a fitness center; so I have had my share of horrible smelling experiences. But this takes the cake.
Two doors down from our BC is a hamburger joint and, apparently, it has its grease traps emptied every month or so. This stench was unlike anything I have ever smelled - a mixture of rotten eggs, a horrible fart, crude oil, and something I still can't identify. I'm sure the gals that are in better shape than I am only had to take small little breaths while running outside. Meanwhile, I am sucking in lungfuls followed by dry heaves. The mixture of strenuous exercise, lingering vodka and fried food, Monday morning, and the scent from hell were too much- I could barely keep the vomit at bay. Thank goodness Josh decided to move us across the street to the park to finish up our exercises. And I am pretty sure this was all in his evil plan. We were so grateful to not be smelling that foul odor, that we were jumping at the chance to go sprint and squat and sweat in a grassy, hilly field......well played Joshua, well played.
Highlight of the morning: no inappropriate incontinence.
Low of the morning: traumatized forever by french fry grease stank.
Josh, our trainer...aka Dictator....aka Drill Sergeant...had us start out with a 3 minute run followed by shoulder presses, jump squats, bicycles, and push ups. His wife, Terri, who is also a trainer/owner worked out with us. Is it really fair to have to stare at her while we work out? I think not - I'm going to start asking her to wear clothes that are 6 sizes too big to make her look uglier....sadly, I am not sure that would even matter! I guess I'll just have to use her child-sized ass as motivation.....sigh....
Anyway, there were PLENTY more exercises after that but I would like to focus on a huge barrier we had to overcome today - the most horrendous stench I have ever experienced. And I have smelled a lot of bad things. In my previous life, I worked in a restaurant, a hospital, and a fitness center; so I have had my share of horrible smelling experiences. But this takes the cake.
Two doors down from our BC is a hamburger joint and, apparently, it has its grease traps emptied every month or so. This stench was unlike anything I have ever smelled - a mixture of rotten eggs, a horrible fart, crude oil, and something I still can't identify. I'm sure the gals that are in better shape than I am only had to take small little breaths while running outside. Meanwhile, I am sucking in lungfuls followed by dry heaves. The mixture of strenuous exercise, lingering vodka and fried food, Monday morning, and the scent from hell were too much- I could barely keep the vomit at bay. Thank goodness Josh decided to move us across the street to the park to finish up our exercises. And I am pretty sure this was all in his evil plan. We were so grateful to not be smelling that foul odor, that we were jumping at the chance to go sprint and squat and sweat in a grassy, hilly field......well played Joshua, well played.
Highlight of the morning: no inappropriate incontinence.
Low of the morning: traumatized forever by french fry grease stank.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Bladders, Bootcamp, and Babies.....
Can someone PLEASE tell me what the heck happens to a woman's bladder control after having a baby (or babies) ?!?!? Holy toledo, boot camp has taken "weak bladder control" to a whole new level.
On Friday, I asked my awesome friend, Jen, to join me at Boot Camp (BC) that night. I knew she could hang- she exercises regularly and is so fun. I knew she would be a great workout companion! PLUS, she is itty-bitty and I can look at her when I want to quit doing my 345th sit-up and tell myself, "Gotta finish if you want to look like THAT!!!"
When we arrived at BC, our instructor Derrick gave us the run down of what type of exercises we were going to complete that night. He had set up stations (I like to call them "torture stations", but they frown upon that kind of terminology at BC) with three different exercises at each one. And because it was his 26th birthday, we had to perform 26 reps of EVERYTHING and just keep repeating the cycle until he had us change stations. We were in groups of 4 and my group's first station had box jumps, step ups, and a hamstring exercise.
For those of you lucky people that have never experienced a box jump, I will enlighten you. A large, wooden box (the height of the box is almost to the top of my shins) is put in front of you and when time starts, you literally do a two-footed jump up onto the box and then jump back down on two feet.....and no bouncing up and down is allowed -your entire foot has to be up on the box after you jump up. What horrible, angry, evil person invented these?!?! And, let's be honest - it had to be a man, because no woman would EVER put another woman through that kind of experience.
This is where Jen and I were forced into discussion about our bladders. Because after approximately four jumps onto that freaking box, I knew I should have brought extra underwear. And I WISH I could say I have had bladder problems my whole life, or that I am an older woman who should be expecting this at my age....but nope. I am a 31-year-old gal who has been peeing her pants since 2004 (year my first child was born).
So, I go back to my original question - what the heck happens down there that I can't sneeze without crossing my legs first?!?! Jen and I are pretty convinced the whole process of pushing 8 pounds out of a very small area, multiple times, wreaks havoc on our girlie parts.
I shall be taking extra precautions before my next BC session - maybe it will help me burn more calories?!?! That is what I will tell myself instead of facing the reality that I have the bladder of a 96-year-old woman.
Oh, and see below for my 8 pound bladder-ruiners :)
On Friday, I asked my awesome friend, Jen, to join me at Boot Camp (BC) that night. I knew she could hang- she exercises regularly and is so fun. I knew she would be a great workout companion! PLUS, she is itty-bitty and I can look at her when I want to quit doing my 345th sit-up and tell myself, "Gotta finish if you want to look like THAT!!!"
When we arrived at BC, our instructor Derrick gave us the run down of what type of exercises we were going to complete that night. He had set up stations (I like to call them "torture stations", but they frown upon that kind of terminology at BC) with three different exercises at each one. And because it was his 26th birthday, we had to perform 26 reps of EVERYTHING and just keep repeating the cycle until he had us change stations. We were in groups of 4 and my group's first station had box jumps, step ups, and a hamstring exercise.
For those of you lucky people that have never experienced a box jump, I will enlighten you. A large, wooden box (the height of the box is almost to the top of my shins) is put in front of you and when time starts, you literally do a two-footed jump up onto the box and then jump back down on two feet.....and no bouncing up and down is allowed -your entire foot has to be up on the box after you jump up. What horrible, angry, evil person invented these?!?! And, let's be honest - it had to be a man, because no woman would EVER put another woman through that kind of experience.
This is where Jen and I were forced into discussion about our bladders. Because after approximately four jumps onto that freaking box, I knew I should have brought extra underwear. And I WISH I could say I have had bladder problems my whole life, or that I am an older woman who should be expecting this at my age....but nope. I am a 31-year-old gal who has been peeing her pants since 2004 (year my first child was born).
So, I go back to my original question - what the heck happens down there that I can't sneeze without crossing my legs first?!?! Jen and I are pretty convinced the whole process of pushing 8 pounds out of a very small area, multiple times, wreaks havoc on our girlie parts.
I shall be taking extra precautions before my next BC session - maybe it will help me burn more calories?!?! That is what I will tell myself instead of facing the reality that I have the bladder of a 96-year-old woman.
To all my sisters who inappropriately urinate at THE MOST inconvenient times: you're not alone and we are doing our share for the economy by single-handily supporting the pantyliner industry. Solidarity!
Oh, and see below for my 8 pound bladder-ruiners :)
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